Clearance - EPIC Shop Goat - Snackles

Confused, but majestic. 

Meet this goat. His name is Snackles. 

Once a proud member of the EPIC Adventure Outfitters team, he was originally hired as Head of Quality Control. Why? Because he eats everything. Literally. tires, invoices, shipping labels, part numbers, even a 10mm socket once. At first, we thought he was quirky. Then we realized he was just deeply unqualified for the role. He is funny tho. 

We’ve tried to repurpose him:

• Customer Support? He just screamed into the phone.
• Product Testing? He licked the Kraken Inflation System and walked away unimpressed.
• Influencer? Got shadowbanned from Instagram for violating community standards. (We won’t talk about that video.)
• Therapy Animal? He increased staff blood pressure by 48%.
• We’re not saying he’s a menace, but if you’ve ever wanted to own a fuzzy chaos goblin with hooves and a thousand-yard stare, today’s your lucky day.

Why are we getting rid of him? He simply eats too much and poops everywhere.

Important Notes:

• Does not come with a warranty.
• Not DOT approved.
• Will try to drive your Jeep if you leave the keys in.
• Once tried to marry a tire.